Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?

The question every parent dreads. It comes not once, but seemingly non-stop on family car trips. I remember asking this question out of great necessity as a kid. You see I was the third and youngest child. That meant the middle back was my designated seat in an era long before built-in entertainment devices... in an era of manual air conditioning (a.k.a. roll down windows!). The middle seat – commonly known as the ‘hump’ (because of the hump) was very uncomfortable. And, I suffered from motion sickness. “Are we there yet” was a plea for air, for space, for comfort, for a clear head and calm stomach.

“Are we there yet?” Today it feels like the question everyone is asking. Like a plea for a destination, to the way life was before the pandemic. Feeling stuck in the middle without enough air or space some days. It feels sometimes like great progress is being made – reunions with family and friends, haircuts, indoor dining… but then there are the variants, multiple waves, the unvaccinated, the polarizations of opinion and the great return-to-office plans.

Are we going back to normal? Is there a new normal? Will I have a say in what I can and cannot do to manage my life and career?

At the beginning of the pandemic we shared the common bond and collective experience of something new that touched us all. But while these past 17 months have altered us all it wasn’t all in the same way. Yes, there is still a global phenomenon at play, but our places in it have been personalized. We’ve made and are making choices that means coming out the other side much is more individual versus collective.

Are we there yet? What does that mean? Where is ‘there’? Maybe we need a new question, a new framing for the future – a creating versus returning place. Leveraging versus eliminating the disruption. Our human nature craves homeostasis – status quo and the familiar. Ambiguity, chaos, transitions make us uneasy. But perhaps, there’s another lens worth looking through.

I leave you with Danann Parry’s “Parable of the Trapeze”:

"Sometimes I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I'm either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments in my life, I'm hurtling across space in between trapeze bars.... For an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of "the past is gone, the future is not yet here."

It's called "transition." I have come to believe that this transition is the only place that real change occurs. I mean real change, not the pseudo-change that only lasts until the next time my old buttons get punched.

I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon as a "no-thing”...the void in between? Is that just a scary, confusing, disorienting nowhere that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible? What a wasted opportunity that would be.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is where the real change, the real growth, occurs for us. The transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out of control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, most growth-filled, passionate, expansive moments in our lives."